I deactivated my Facebook account.
I know, I know. I have, in the past, made fun of people who decided to take a “Facebook break.” I was scornful. Silly me. Now I’m one of those people.
It’s not because someone offended me or hurt my feelings. I wouldn’t call it a fast.
My brain just feels cluttered.
I lived many, many years without contact with friends from high school, let alone the people I went to school with but barely knew. I went years without hearing anything from people I went to college with, save the occasional bit of news in the alumni newsletter.
Some people did cross my mind from time to time, in a general “I wonder what they’re doing these days” sort of way, but basically, I didn’t feel any particular lack in my life.
And then Facebook came along. I joined in 2007 (I can’t believe it’s been that long!!), and it has slowly taken over my brain. Like Kelly said in this post, it’s become a drug. A drug I use when I’m bored, or want to escape my fighting children or the work I ought to be doing. A drug I use first thing in the morning, and often the last thing at night. A drug I downloaded to my phone so I would never be without it.
I’m the first to admit the positive aspects of Facebook. I have made contact with dear friends whom I truly love, and the connection has been such that it feels like no time has passed. I have also gotten to know some people from way back, people I didn’t know all that well then, and been surprised by how much we have in common. As a transient military wife, I’ve even found it a helpful, non-threatening way to grow a friendship that is just beginning (getting to know people through their posts, finding common ground).
I find myself wondering if it’s worth it. By reconnecting with people from the distant past, what am I missing in my real life, with the real people around me, with my very real children? And is it worth missing those things in order to know that so-and-so from high school got her hair cut today?
Before Facebook, I blogged more. I wrote real words, in sentences, even. Now, I’m more inclined to click “like” on a witty post and move on. Scanning down the page, not caring about so many of the posts, just wasting time and cluttering my brain with information I don’t really need.
So, I’m taking a break. I’m going to work on some frustrating behavior issues with my girls. I’m going to read to Emma more. I’m going to spend more time in the Word and in prayer, seeking to transform my wicked, selfish, impatient heart into a heart more like His.