I would like to lose some weight. It seems impossible. I don’t know what the problem is, so I thought I’d dump some of my frustrations and thoughts here.
I am, in general, a pretty disciplined person. Growing up, I did my schoolwork and practiced piano because I should. In college, in grad school, classmates would say they didn’t “feel like” practicing or writing a paper and I would wonder what on earth their feelings had to do with anything. It’s so simple. Just do the work. Put in the time. And now, as a mom and wife, I generally do what I’m supposed to do regardless of feelings. I educate the children, cook the food, wash the dishes, run the vacuum, do what needs doin’ regardless of whether or not I want to. (I’d rather read, mostly.)
But for some reason this does not translate to food for me. I know I should eat oatmeal for breakfast. Instead I carefully slather a large amount of butter on my toast, followed by a generous amount of cinnamon sugar. (I love toast so much, I gave it up for Lent.) I know I should eat more salads, more vegetables, less sugar, but I do none of these things. I have almost no food discipline at all. I don’t binge or anything, but I eat what I want when I want it, scale be damned.
When I was younger, these poor eating habits of mine did not show up physically. I was skinny as a rail for years and years. In the last 15 years or so, it’s started showing up. And I’ve been “trying” to lose the weight for about that long. Instead, I keep gaining.
I’ve tried a lot of things. I’m very familiar with the whole bodybuilding diet thing, but I don’t want to look like that, per se, and I’m not into hard core lifting, so I don’t think I need that much protein.
I spent the better part of two years doing Atkins, or some form thereof. I was hardcore low-carb, as some of you remember. (Sorry. I drank the Kool-aid, so to speak.) I ended the low-carb years heavier than I started. I have no doubt that a diet like that works for some people, but I was not one of them.
I tried various forms of intermittent fasting, which I hated.
The Paleo stuff went along with the low-carb stuff, so I’ve been there, too.
Trim Healthy Mama was crazy complicated and oh my word those girls needed an editor. That book rambled on and on and on…
I had my thyroid checked, given a strong family history and some other factors. It was totally fine.
I have, in the past year or so, just tried to be reasonable. I decided that I couldn’t face a major diet plan that restricted certain foods, so I would just make better choices in a small but consistent way and be amazed at how those changes added up. Yeah, that didn’t work either. With no plan, I found myself rationalizing everything I shouldn’t eat but wanted to. No results with the no plan plan.
My 20-year college reunion is this fall. I want to look good – I want to feel good. And I have no idea anymore how to accomplish that.
(I have friends who sell things so…please…I’m not at all interested in any magic drinks that cost insane amounts of money.)
My disciplined nature is telling me to buck up, choose a diet and stick to it no matter what my feelings might be. The same way I make my bed every day and cook for my family and wash the dishes and the clothes. Just do it.
But I have failed at that time and time again; at this point it’s hard to think about gearing up for another diet. I lack enthusiasm and faith that it will work. And yet I want it to. Whatever “it” might be.
Have you successfully lost weight? How did you do it? How did you stick to it?