One of Those Days

It’s been one of those days. The weight of responsibility of parenting, and of homeschooling, has been heavy. Today it feels like I’m failing at all of it.

All the kids have struggled with math this year. I thought we did fine with math all the other years.  But this year, suddenly: math issues all around. Apparently I’m a terrible math teacher.  Abby wants to go to private school next year and she has to get Pre-algebra straight before she goes into Algebra I.  The pressure is on me.

I attended a webinar last week about parenting tweens. I shouldn’t have done it. I knew it was going to make me feel terrible. You know how sometimes you just know? The woman who presented is very sweet and sincere, she wouldn’t intend to make anyone feel this way, but my kids are extremely different from hers, our family dynamic is not at all the same, and I’ve felt like a failure ever since.  So, basically I paid someone to make me feel bad about myself.

A variety of other accusations are flying around in my head. Your kids spend too much time online. They fight too much. No one likes to read. How am I raising kids who don’t read? How did I fail at that?

I don’t have a happy hopeful twist here. This isn’t that kind of post.  This is just where I am today. But tomorrow is another day. I press on.

In happier news, the neighbor who hollered at me through the window the other evening came over today to apologize, saying he’d had a long day last Saturday. He brought a dog treat for Miley and said he was baking a dessert for the rest of us. That was awfully nice of him, wasn’t it? Maybe we’ll all get along after all.

About waymel

Navy wife. Homeschooling mom. Adoptive parent. Pianist. Introvert. One who loves quiet and beauty.
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11 Responses to One of Those Days

  1. loveandkate says:

    I just wanted to say that I’m loving all of your blog posts. I’m so happy they’re back! And also that I’m thrilled that the neighbor is trying to make amends — that is awesome. And also that I’m so sorry today sucked. But you are NOT failing. I think you’re a superstar. I’m positive that you do not and could not fail. And also that your kids knew more than me when they were 5 years old. Sending LOVE!

  2. shirley wilmoth says:

    I echo Kate’s response. I KNOW you are doing an excellent job of teaching your children. I am absolutely certain of that. I’m sorry today sucked. Hopefully, tomorrow will not. Take the math one step at a time and try to be satisfied with the results. Thanks for blogging. (:

  3. maryswanbell says:

    Just from knowing you from a distance–reading your posts and having a sense of who you are from 20 years ago–I know you are a fantastic mom. Tweens are tough, and I would be suspect of anyone who claimed differently. You’re allowed to have rough self-doubting days. Keep on keeping on, friend! I admire you so much. I could never do what you’re doing. You amaze me.

  4. Joy Pitzer says:

    Hi Melanie – it’s Joy Pitzer. I really didn’t have any stellar advice for you other than to sleep on it and today will be better – which you already knew. But…. I also did a double take when I read your mom’s comment and her word choice of “sucked!” I would have lost all my earthly belongings on betting that your mom would never have found that word in her vocabulary. I’m glad to know she’s normal – and still just as nice as I always knew! Chin up to Melanie and a shout out to Shirley! XOXOX

  5. Rebecca says:

    Aw, that is a super-nice turnaround from the neighbor. I’m so glad to hear it. And I know exactly what you mean about the webinar. My family will never meet those expectations, either! Man, I feel like the normal Mom -guilt is so much worse for Christian moms. We are given a LOAD of heavy expectations these days. I just want to loosen up a bit. Actually, since we’ve moved here, I’ve been trying. I’m letting my kids have more screen time. I’m trying not to structure them so much. I’m trying to give myself permission to relax, too. I want this house to be a place where we can all just hang out. I know you’re not failing! The good stuff you have planted in your kids will have good fruit, if not as much as you hoped now, someday!

  6. shirley wilmoth says:

    Just so we all know……….”sucked” was mentioned in an area above my comment and I picked it up by a 2 yr old toddler. As such it was more of a quote than original to me and I do not use the word myself at all and if I ever begin to I will definitely whisper it. ha As the girls were growing up if ever I quoted someone who said a distatsteful word I would whisper it and the girls thought that was pretty funny. Joy, you can keep all of your earthly belongings and I hope I can still be “normal”.

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